I was on my way to my-to-be school (university). I recently gained admission and was going for registration. I went with big bro...you might be curious as to why i didn't go on my own, afterall i'm a 'Big Girl' or 'Big Lady'??? Well, that's a story for another day.
I was kinda thinking about the kinda girl i've been morally (though i do have minor clashes with my Parents at times), i was thinking about how i've been staying at the right path and not straying away when...i remembered, remembered how his heart got shattered.
I would refer to him as KB or BK...KB - so he can be imagined as a social, cool, hot, bad guy and BK - imagined as a nice, quiet, caring, loving guy.
He is my friend's cousin, and he is also a very close friend of mine...at least he used to be.
I recall how we met...my friend's mum's shop is beside my mum's. And we live close to the shop. So, whenever my friend (Let's call her Vivi) comes from her home, she and her brothers will come to my house and we will play around together.
Backdate to 8years ago-
There was this hot afternoon, i was in the room watching a Korean movie (i have a crush on interesting korean 'movies') when Vivi came in with one of her brothers and a new guy. I was putting on a singlet and its (what we call follow-come) shorts. We chatted and played.
Later, while playing we got introduced and became closer friends.
Now, fast-forward to about 8 years later, we are teenagers already, everyone is dating this person or that person, i'm the only one standing out.
I'm most closer to BK...he talks with his gf on phone for two hours (only God knows what they talk about). After they close from school, he comes back and we all talk about the day's adventure.
I watched as their relationship blossomed;
Cute, handsome, hot, caring. nice guys that other girls wanted to have to themselves asked me out one after the other, but relationships just isn't my thing.
I would ask KB about her at times, and he seemed happy as ever, then it started....
I liked the way BK daringly loved and cared for her, but i wasn't ready to be committed in a relationship...i just liked the freedom of singledom. Since i clocked 12 till present, my friends/mates have been going in and out of relationships, and i was one of the unique ones, the NDSB (Never Dated Since Birth) and i was proud of myself.
Anyways, i started crushing on KBK, he was caring and what any girl would want for herself, and I once told Vivi, and one other friend that i had a crush on him and i could seduce and get him if i wanted to, but i wasn't one to break a fellow girl's heart. Actually...i wasn't one to do that, but she was one to break a guy's heart.
She had to transfer to another high school, but it wasn't far from her previous one...maybe, she was waiting for that moment. She told BK that she couldn't do it any more. KB came back from school that day, and we had been having some minor issues (not related to the crushing), i could sense that he was not ok, then my lil sis asked what happened and i heard his older cousin (Vivi's bro) playfully say that his gf broke his heart, it was funny and we laughed.
Some days later, we reconciled and resolved the issues, we talked about his ex, and he said he had moved on from her...cool, i thought.
Somehow, he mistakenly found out about the crush, it happened when i mistakenly sent him a message that was meant for one friend's ex-boyfriend that was asking me out.
I felt like a fool...how could i have mistakenly selected his number, that was my most embarassing situation as a teenager.
Later on, we started avoiding each other, or maybe i was the one avoiding him, and my other friend started telling me that he wanted to go out with me. It was kinda funny and strange. I avoided the topic whenever we talked and pretended i never had a crush on him, but he was only falling harder.
Almost Christmas, mum said we were traveling for my uncle's wedding and to spend christmas with her parents, particularly her father, my grandfather which i hadn't seen since birth. Anyways, we traveled and i chatted with KB all through the journey, told him how i saw the Niger River for the first time (Note: my grandparents reside at Niger State).
On 26th of December, he popped the question and asked me out, it was weird and i immediately rejected him, my friend called minutes later and told my how crazy i was to reject a guy i liked, he asked again and again until the 28th of December when i finally said yes!!!
We returned back to Lagos on the 31st of December, and i rushed to see him first.
It was fun dating him, and i kept crushing on him. But did i really like him???
We sent text messages, sat down together. Everyday after i close from work, i would rush to see him instead of helping my mom to cook at home or go to rest.
Then the time came, i was to write my final high school exams, i needed time to study, i didn't want any distractions, i started studying and we rarely saw each other. I didn't feel like i really liked him, i just had a crush on him, that's all, nothing serious, maybe i liked him because he treated his girlfriend so well.
It was almost d-day, valentine's day, February 14th.
It was February 13th, a Sunday, i didn't go to see him, i sent a message, apologizing and telling him that i needed space, that we needed to break up, that i didn't mind if he dated other girls, that we could remain friends, and that maybe we could get back together if I still wanted after my exams.
I can't imagine how he felt on the said day, i had shattered a broken heart. We didn't see for days after then, on the day, we met and it was awkward.
It was long before he finally forgave me, though we are friends now, i'm sure when he sees me, the memory comes rushing, cos at times, he just doesn't want to talk to me.
Now the thing is, having a crush on someone and liking someone, could someone please decipher the difference, because most teenagers out there still think having a crush on someone is still the same as really liking someone. I just don't get it.
